yes, that is my ass
It's not as though I have a lot of sex.
Or even a medium amount.
It's less feast or famine than it is akin to a homeless person scrounging around one of those giant metal garbage cans looking for an unopened lunchable.
the perfect metaphor for my sex life
Despite this, and my very moderate online presence when it comes to dating websites, it would seem my ass has achieved a level of notoriety in my community I was unaware of.
To the point where I am easily recognized by not my face but my butt.
Doing a favor for a mutual acquaintance recently I picked up a person I didn't know from the airport as a part of this favor.
When I attempted to help this man with his luggage he said "Oh, your ass, you must be fill in the blank with my name. I've heard about you."
Well, just the important part right?
I didn't say anything, just nodded and made a face I hope conveyed how nonplussed I was at his grossly inappropriate comment given my penchant for leaving people stranded in far away places when they need modern transportation most.
I'd never have left Kirk behind. Mostly because I'd never have been within a hundred miles of him, but still.
Doing a different favor for a different friend, I'm a giver, that's what I do, I dropped off the supplies needed to keep a feral cat shelter operating because, well, I can't fucking figure that one out.
This friend is a recovering addict and it makes him feel good to keep mangy disease ridden feral cats in all the dry food and nesting materials they need to keep fucking each other.
Once there, some homeless looking skunt with dread locks and the over powering stench of patchuli oil came to help me unload the goods and shook her head when I bent over to pick up a bag of used towels "You must be fill in the blank with my name. He really likes you."
how could you NOT love this thing?
Or at least the best part.
A part of me is flattered by this.
Another part is trying to figure out how to apply the same brand recognition my ass has to the short stories I have for sale online and which only cost a dollar.
That cat looks... um... well, it looks feral and pissed. Thank goodness it likes you.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should come up with an ass logo, something like the silhouette on the POW flag ;-D
You have inspired me dear.
ReplyDeleteIt is now my lifes mission to do this and show you the results.
:):):)
WOW! Very funny and yes, your ass is great! :)
ReplyDeleteWell thank you writer! That's very sweet of you to say. I try to be sexy/amusing at all times but rarely pull it off anywhere but the make believe world I keep alive on this blog.
ReplyDeleteI'm known for my ass, too. Not online, though. Just by people I know. It's flat as a pancake.:) lol
ReplyDelete@ LJ: I feel like I would kill myself if this were the case with me . . . ;)
ReplyDelete