Why Sarah Palin Is The Devil And Why The Devil Is A Liar: Part Two

I have expressed my personal distaste for the vaginal life support system otherwise known as Sarah Palin on a previous occasion though perhaps not with the measured steady mind you've all come to expect from me. 

I wrote about her then in response to the possibility she may have actually become the vice president of the United Fucking States thus potentially becoming one case of acute angina away from being the leader of the free fucking world.

I wish to remind all those of you out in the blog-o-sphere my position has not changed and for good reason.

While I certainly cannot claim that the men who have gone before her have upheld the honorable distinction and American nobility of the office I feel I must remind those hypnotized by the mesmerizing widdershins rotation of her inhumanly perky breasts this woman is not fit to serve you fast food let alone rule the American people.

But, instead of giving you mere opinions, I will present to you the notable and recorded political positions of Sarah Palin to make clear why we should all find the nearest cute fuzzy creature and its even cuter fuzzier off spring so that we may gut them on an altar of virgin bones in the hopes that all that is low and vile will finally hear us and take back into their eternally muddied bosom the unclean and ignoble wound that is Sarah Palin.

a few dozen of these should be sufficient

To begin with In 2006, Palin told the Associated Press that her personal beliefs would not dictate her public policies, adding that she was "not one to be out there preaching and forcing my views on anyone else."

Unless you're a homosexual, you've been raped by your father or anyone else and are now pregnant, or you don't want the otherwise unspoiled intellect of your child to be sullied by the absolute stupidity of creationist dogma.

In those cases Sarah Palin is more than happy to force her views on you via support for special interest and lobbyist groups who exist with the sole purpose of crafting and passing legislation that would allow her beliefs to become federal, state, or local law.

Pictured: divinity

As for religion in general Sarah attended pentecostal churches throughout her childhood and adult life where it was common to see laying of hands or speaking in tongues as legitimate expressions of contact with god. It wasn't until she began her bid for vice president that she began attending a more publicly reserved and non-denominational church less likely to offend anyone or come off as bat shit insane to those of us who take a dim view of being physically assaulted by people screaming gibberish and claiming the whole experience is one of divinity.

clearly she's just being constitutional 

When it comes to gun rights Sarah falls in line with every other scared white politician who came before her espousing the tired and wildly inaccurate interpretation of the second amendment as meaning we should all be allowed to walk around armed to the fucking teeth on the off chance that we all might want to overthrow the established government as is our other constitutional right should it ever become oppressive and overbearing. 

Good thing that hasn't happened yet. 

It's no coincidence that those who speak the loudest in support for the proliferation of automatic and semi-automatic weaponry are the same republicans and democrats who stand to gain financially from either direct or indirect business ties with those who manufacture and distribute such weapons though in this case we can see simply that while Sarah has no such ties she is merely parroting an opinion she believes will win her the largest approval from the type of American she's hoping will also tune in to her new show on A & E.

Because, you know, all serious politicians have reality television shows.

Sarah attempting to comprehend the support of a science she knows nothing about but which she's certain is evil

On the topic of stem cell research, a topic I'd like to remind everyone should require not only a doctorate degree but some actual familiarity with the fucking subject to even form an opinion on, Sarah allows her religious belief on abortion to somehow come into play and inform her opinion on this topic. If abortion is bad and all babies start out as embryo's Sarah assumes it stands to reason stem cell research must be bad since the clump of cells smaller than her lacquered pinky nail is more deserving of life than the millions who might possibly be saved from its painless destruction. 

Apparently Sarah, and those who agree with this psychotic view, find the death of millions every year as a result of global over population and lack of readily available resources much more in line with the "culture of life" she'd like American's in general to start embracing by first overturning Roe Vs. Wade than killing something which cannot even be defined as a person.

over my dead body and unsatisfying broken marriage queer

When it comes to same sex marriages Sarah does not view gay men and women as equal in the eyes of the law and see's them as less deserving than their peers of the same happiness and joy a marriage theoretically brings as is made clear when she stated repeatedly she would support both state and federal legislation to not only define marriage as being between one man and one woman but went a step further and attempted to pass legislation which would deny same sex couples the exact same federal and state benefits granted to heterosexual couples.

This can be interpreted as meaning Sarah does not view homosexuals as equal on a basic human level and as such should not be given access to the same level of healthcare or financial aide available to their heterosexual counterparts despite contributing an equal or greater amount in the form of income and state taxes.

One has to wonder if this woman can so easily dehumanize someone simply for being a homosexual who else is capable of one day becoming less human and thus less deserving of the same liberties as everyone else? One has to further wonder about how Sarah acquired the mindset capable of allowing her to easily dehumanize homosexuals as a disposable sub-species as it calls into question her initial statements about not allowing her religious beliefs to alter or inform her political decisions. Surely this is not the mindset of a sane or rational leader. 

Bwahahahahahaha! All your carbon emission reduction laws are belong to me!

And finally in case there is any doubt as to the contradictory and idiotic essence at the core of who Sarah Palin pretends to be let's discuss her views on global warming. On the one hand Sarah believes it's an actual phenomenon but she disagrees that it is man made. Rather than spend any time on attempting to provide for her citizenry while in office by spending money on simple effective solutions to the main causes of both global warming and global climate change, i.e. the use of fossil fuels and the unchecked spread of urban sprawl, Sarah decided instead to provide for the short term financial welfare of both herself and her extended family by allowing for the extensive and ongoing drilling of previously protected wildlife preserves. 

When she met with opposition to her desire to "drill, drill, drill" by expanding even further into wild life reserves she decided to sue the United States Government when they attempted to add polar bears to the endangered species list. Clearly this woman does not have the best interest of the nation in mind or even the popular opinion of most other self proclaimed conservative republicans as many times during her run for vice president Sarah's views were in direct opposition to Senator McCain's.

In summation this woman is more concerned with being the relevant media darling she is so good at being than with any of the real problems or issues facing the average American on a daily basis. She's really great at giving a ten second sound bite capable of swiftly and adeptly removing any doubt that she is a vacuous empty headed twit with great boobs but ask her something important like which news or literary sources she uses to develop the above listed insane, evil, and crass opinions she has and you'll be met with a blank stare and perhaps a link to either her twitter or face book page.

If you have a mind to read up on all of this for yourself you can do so here.